Mental health therapists or counselors are trained to test people for mental disorders.

They are trained to help children learn appropriate behaviors, and to help adults learn to work through marital problems. Counselors assist brilliant individuals to determine the balance of medication that will allow their brains to function at their best. They also help drug addicted people find ways to cope with life that won’t kill them.

In my role as a counselor, I have taught parenting skills to parents who wanted to sharpen their abilities and played with children in after-school programs, using techniques that allowed them to develop skills to get along with others. I have talked with teenagers while they waited in shelters until a court determined whether they could safely return home with their parents, providing the teens with a safe and responsible sounding board, which they could use before they had to face parents who were often overwhelmed and out of touch with their children’s needs.

One benefit of counseling is that it can prevent a small problem from becoming a larger one. However, over the past few years I have noticed that fewer people are turning to counselors to solve their small problems. Perhaps it is because counselors can charge for their services on the insurance lists now, and therefore it takes an additional step to get the help you want. Perhaps it is because counselors are seen acting silly on television.

Television isn’t reality, and skilled counselors still provide discount fees for services. You don’t have to involve your insurance company if counseling causes you embarrassment.

Behavioral sciences have brought us “I” messages, anger management skills, parenting techniques for modern times, talk therapy, dream analysis, psychodrama and brain stimulation. They have given us behavior modification, aversion therapy, art therapy, and desensitization.

Because so many techniques from the counselor’s bag of tricks are being used in everyday life now – “When you yell at me, it makes me feel like I want to slug you”—citizens tend to feel they can do their own therapy. Unfortunately, due to a lack of effective skill development, or lack of commitment to the time necessary to change a behavior, many people never achieve their goals. Meanwhile, society at large continues to deride the value of therapy that trained counselors offer.

Once you realize you have a problem with a relationship at home or work, or if you don’t feel as good about yourself or life as you did at one time, try a visit with a counselor. You needn’t commit yourself to more than one visit, and if you don’t like the first counselor you meet then try a different one. Sometimes you have to visit several before you find one who can work with you.

Counselors are not mind readers. They are good listeners who can guide you through a period of self-discovery using practical actions. A counselor will help you tackle the tough stuff, and that can lead you to a better life.

Ronda Bishop is a licensed mental health counselor and experienced parenting educator. She has worked as a counselor, teacher, and life coach for the past 15 years. Questions for Ronda can be e-mailed to Mslrbishop@comcast.net.