Like every Easter weekend of my life I will be doing one of two things this year: eating chocolate or trying not to.
Since Easter replaced Valentine’s Day, which replaced Christmas, which replaced Halloween in the holiday section of the grocery stores, I’ve been indulging in chocolate treats for the last several months. But with summer fast approaching, I’ve decided to give up the junk.
“I’ve heard that before,” my husband said in response to this latest declaration. He’s right. He has.
In my defense, I would just like to point out that it’s not easy being a chocoholic. I tried hypnotherapy last year, thinking I could by tricked into believing chocolate tasted like dirt, and I would be cured from my cravings. However, it was a little more complex than that, and I stopped going.
Since I’m still addicted to chocolate and find it irresistible, I’d like to suggest another solution. Why not change the Easter Bunny’s treats from chocolates eggs to carrot sticks? Bunnies eat vegetation, so this makes perfect sense.
Imagine how much more exciting Easter egg hunts would be for children if we replaced all the chocolates and candies with items from the produce aisles instead. Kids could race around collecting carrots and celery, and completely freak out when they find something as extra special as a big head of purple cabbage.
And if it worked for this holiday, why wouldn’t it work for others as well? On Valentine’s Day we could treat ourselves to artichoke hearts; on Christmas Day we could eat figgy and skip the pudding; and on Halloween we could trick or treat for pumpkin seeds.
OK, my kids wouldn’t go for any of that either. But maybe if I’d started doing that for them as toddlers, they would.
“Can we get this, Mom?” my eight year old daughter asked, holding a huge chocolate bunny at the store last night. “Please?”
“Maybe you’ll get one for Easter,” I said, envisioning a much smaller version.
“How about this, then?” she said picking up a bag of jelly beans. “They’re fat free.” Like me, she’s a sucker for clever packaging.
Managing to get past this section of the store without any candy, she was pleading once again when we got to the check-out.
“Can I have one of these?” she asked, pointing at the Kinder Surprises that were positioned perfectly for her height. “Please, Mama?”
“Sure,” I relented. With its thin layer of chocolate and the little toy inside, it seemed almost healthy in comparison to the pounds of sugar we just avoided. And I knew from experience that denying children treats could create a rebellious habit when they’re old enough to buy it themselves.
After years of struggling with my weight when I was younger, I remember discovering one day as an adult that dark chocolate was actually good for me. It was a glorious day indeed. But “only a little bit,” according to the famous Dr. Oz, who recommended eating one small square a day. Good grief. That’s as unnatural as eating one measly potato chip and then closing the bag.
Whoever first said “everything in moderation” should be given a giant chocolate bunny and a huge bag of potato chips this Easter. I, on the hand, will be feasting on a big head of purple cabbage. Yum.
To watch my Easter video and find out how the Easter Bunny lives the rest of the year, please visit LoriWelbourne.com and www.youtube.com.