Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between Aug. 19 and 25:

Aug. 19

Property theft: 11:05 a.m., 1406 Lake Tapps Parkway SE. Thieves picked up pallets belonging to Haggen Foods and shuffled off with their gains into the late morning.

Shoplifting: 12:15 p.m., 221 Auburn Way N. What they stole must be left to the imagination, but somebody or several somebodies stole stuff from Lover’s Package.

Theft: Overnight, 1825 K St. SE. Thieves stole several hundred feet of copper wire from a construction site.

Aug. 22

Hit and run: 3:53 p.m., 1420 Harvey Road NE. Having failed to stop for a signal, Vehicle A’s driver smacked into Vehicle B, whereupon driver and occupants of A took to their heels.

Aug. 23

Assault: 6:36 p.m., 31800 block of 110th Avenue Southeast. Police arrested a woman who’d assaulted her landlord.

Aug. 24

Vandalism: 1:55 a.m., L Street Southeast and 9th Street Southeast. Police arrested a man for maliciously mischiefing and furnishing fermented beverages to people without the years on Earth that the law demands for them to swill it.

Aug. 25

Found property: 3:15 p.m., 4000 block of A Street Southeast. Police placed a backpack into departmental storage.

Funny money: 4:45 p.m., 2802 Auburn Way S. A woman tried to fob a bogus bill off an unsuspecting business, but the employees of said business were too smart to fall for anything but a bona fide, $10 Hamilton note.

Vandalism: 7:25 p.m., 1500 block of 8th Street Northeast. Police busted this dude who’d shattered the back window of his neighbor’s vehicle.

Purse theft: 6:30 p.m., 801 Auburn Way S. A woman was just doing her thing in the Fred Meyer parking lot when somebody stole her purse.

Harassment: 8:28 p.m., 1200 block of 72nd Street Southeast. Some guy threatened to beat up his ex-girlfriend.