Auburn Police responded to the following calls, among many others, between June 18 and 23:
June 18
Hit and run: 11:11 a.m., 0 W. Main St. After striking an empty vehicle, a driver’s sincere attempts to flee the scene were thwarted by several witnesses who dogged him and blocked his vehicle from continuing its flight until police could arrive and bust him.
June 19
Robbery: 12:54 a.m., 700 block of F Street Northeast. A robbery of something undisclosed with value also undisclosed occurred.
June 20
Bad money after shoes: 9 p.m., 1215 Auburn Way N. Somebody used bogus bills to buy real shoes.
June 21
Trespassing: 7:08 p.m., 902 Outlet Collection Way SW. After police busted a dude for trespassing and spouting terminological inexactitudes at a police officer at The Outlet Collection Mall, they booked this trespasser and fibber into jail as a John Doe.
Theft: 8:12 a.m., 3300 block of 19th Street Southeast. Thieves slipped into a van overnight and slithered out again with a bicycle and a USB thumb drive.
June 22
Theft: Overnight, 3600 block of Orchard Street Southeast. A thief or thieves stole two propane tanks from a driveway.
Marijuana: 6 p.m., 100 block of E Street Southeast. When the smoke had blown away from a fire, lo, marijuana was revealed.
Theft: 5:50 p.m., 2401 Stuck River Drive SE. Somebody stole a purse from a vehicle at Game Farm Wilderness Park.
Bogus bills: 10 p.m., 4010 A St. SE. Somebody bought items at Albertsons with goofy greenbacks.
Bad money: 9 p.m., 300 Milwaukee Blvd. S. A person reported him or herself for having unknowingly passed a counterfeit $100 bill.
June 23
Burglary: Overnight, 10406 Auburn Black Diamond Road SE. A commercial burglary occurred, involving something, value unspecified.
Vandalism: Overnight, 1341 Auburn Way N. Vandals hit a business in some undisclosed way, loss unspecified.
Animal problem: 4 p.m., 902 M St. SE. A woman reported a pit bull on the loose in her apartment complex, without identification, owner unknown. The dog was taken to the Auburn Valley Humane Society shelter.
Theft: 6:02 p.m., 4200 block of A Street Southeast. A theft of property from a motor vehicle reported, value unspecified, with related vandalism equally unspecified.
Vandalism: 7:05 a.m., 700 block of West Main Street. A business owner complained of homeless people sleeping under her back and side decks, leaving behind trash and damaging the structure. The final straw appears to have been the discovery of food cookery going on under there, which the owner feared may lead to the burning of her place.
Theft: 4:01 p.m., 900 block of East Main Street. Somebody saw “a strange woman” pluck a postal package from her neighbor’s porch.
