Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between May 22 and 30:

May 22

Trespassing: 8:05 p.m., 214 7th St.SE. An anonymous neighbor reported transient activity at the abandoned residence at 214 7th St. SE. Police later busted a man inside said house, because, you know, he shouldn’t have been there.

May 24

Theft: 8:25 a.m., 620 37th St. SE. While a kid was at Mt. Baker Middle School, someone stole his cellphone.

May 25

Theft: 12:19 p.m., 1307 Auburn Way N. A man in his early 20s swiped a flat iron from a local beauty supply store.

Trespassing: 6:07 p.m., 3618 West Valley Highway N. Bigfoot Java applied the old hairy foot of disapproval to a misbehaving man, and away he went into the early evening.

May 26

DUI alcohol or drugs: 9 p.m., 5550 Auburn Way S. An officer investigating an unrelated traffic collision ended up arresting a man for driving in a parking lot while a fermented beverage was sloshing back and forth in his belly and addling his brain.

May 28

Trespassing: 7:10 a.m., 502 16th St. NE. Auburn Plaza Dental gave two men the early morning pttuuiii!.

May 30

Theft: 7:24 a.m., 801 Auburn Way N. A resident passing through the Fred Meyer parking lot interrupted an unknown male who was just then prowling a parked vehicle, whereupon the guy fled on a bicycle.

Commercial burglary: 7:59 p.m., 4337 Auburn Way N. Bent Bike’s commercial alarm began to keen and wail, alerting police, who arrived to discover damage to the exterior fence.

Vandalism: 6:50 p.m., 100 block of Pike Street Northeast. Police busted a woman for busting a car window.