Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service between Sept. 2 and 6:

Sept. 1

Theft: 2 p.m., 6300 block of Udall Avenue Southeast. A thief or thieves stole a flag pole and other stuff from somebody’s yard sometime between Aug. 29 and Sept. 1

Sept. 2

Thievery: 5:30 a.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way SW. Somebody stole a gantry crane, value undisclosed, from a construction site between Aug. 29 and Sept. 2.

Chicken stealer: 1:42 p.m., 4010 A St. SE. A man tried to pluck $4 worth of fried chicken from Albertsons, Albertsons squawked, and cops busted the guy.

Street robbery with knife: 2:30 p.m., 500 block of F Street Southeast. A man stole a cellphone from another man, and then brandished a knife to keep the phone.

Fraud: 2:25 p.m., 2236 Auburn Way N. After two people tried to use a state driver’s license that did not belong to either of them to sell brand new tools to Cash America, skeptical staff called police.

Theft: 5:06 p.m., 12300 SE 316th St. A thief stole a woman’s Coach tote off her lap at a bus stop.

Theft: 3 p.m., 1000 block of 22nd Street Northeast. A man complained that someone had stolen a USPS package three days earlier from the front door of his residence.

Assault: 7:50 p.m., 900 block of C Street Southeast. A kid damaged things at his home and kicked a police officer, getting himself arrested.

Sept. 3

Vandalism: 7:30 p.m., 12500 block of Southeast 312th Street. Even if police did reveal that it was done maliciously, the specific act of mischief that went down in Southeast Auburn this night remains a police mystery.

Sept. 4

Trespassing: 10:30 a.m., 4002 A St. SE. The knights of Round Table Pizza banished a man from court for one year because of the naughty, albeit undisclosed, things he did.

Fraud: 2:21 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way. A fraudster used someone else’s identity to open an account at a jewelry store at The Outlet Collection, and then bought items undisclosed, between Aug. 18 and Sept. 4

Fraud: 3:36 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way. A male fraudster used someone else’s identity to open a credit account at a jewelry store at The Outlet Collection and buy an expensive watch on that account.

Fraud: 4:23 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way. A suspect used someone else’s identity to open a credit account at a jewelry store and buy a diamond ring on that account.

Shoplifting: 11:53 p.m., 762 Outlet Collection Drive SW. A male was arrested for theft after he’d shoplifted items from Walmart. His brother was also arrested for rendering criminal assistance.

Sept. 5

Commercial burglary: 3:10 a.m., 904 Auburn Way N. A motion sensor notified an alarm company, which notified police that a thief, or thieves in felonious cahoots, had stolen $1,000 worth of laptops from PCE Computing. After police got there, they found laptop charging cables hanging out of a window, a plastic laptop case on the ground outside the window, and a hole cut into the fence on the north side of the property. The suspect, or suspects, got away.

Theft: Overnight, 7:30 a.m., 642 Outlet Collection Drive SW. Somebody stole a portable generator off a man’s travel trailer overnight at the Outlet Collection Mall.

Theft: 10:17 a.m., 1070 Outlet Collection Way SW. Perhaps the deadbeat thought he’d made a clean getaway into The Outlet Collection mall after failing to pay his cab fare. But he left a court document in the cab, and the furious cabbie identified him from a photo montage. The suspect has not yet been caught.

Theft: 2:46 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way SW. A male and a female stole Seahawks jerseys from a store in The Outlet Collection.

Vandalism: 8:20 p.m., 6000 block of Montevista Drive Southeast. A 17-year-old boy took a kitchen knife to his mother’s car and was arrested.

Sept. 6

Controlled substance: 1:30 a.m., 2402 Auburn Way S. Somebody sold a man an undisclosed quantity of a drug he knew zippo, zilch, nada about, and he swallowed it. Firefighters from the Valley Regional Fire Authority were called in to check him out, and then persons unknown transported the man to a hospital.

Arson: 3:36 a.m., 1439 Auburn Way N. Somebody found a gas pump hose afire and put it out.

Trespassing, Part Deux: 10 a.m., 4002 A St. SE. Despite his banishment from the court of Round Table Pizza mere days earlier, the dude returned and got busted.