Women are not the only victims of domestic violence.
Lisa Moore knows this from personal, painful experience.
Her brother, 45-year-old Randy Ferguson, was shot to death by his wife five years ago, bringing a terrible end to years of constant verbal and emotional abuse.
“I watched my brother suffer in shame for years,” Moore said. “It was hard for me. I introduced my brother to her. They seemed to have it all together in the beginning, but I quickly learned I had made the biggest mistake of my life. … She was controlling, manipulative and jealous.”
And violent.
Although physically half her husband’s imposing size, Angela Ferguson’s relentless harassment psychologically and emotionally reduced the man to nothing, Moore recalled. Beaten down, his self-esteem crushed, he watched all his hopes for salvaging his marriage crash in dust, smoke and ruins.
It all ended in 2006 when the enraged woman shot Randy twice in the head at point-blank range at their South Hill home. The wife was later convicted and is serving 26 1/2 years in prison for murder.
The tragedy changed Moore’s life. She adopted and is raising her brother’s daughter, Alison, who was 4 at the time of the homicide.
“Considering, she is doing well,” Moore said of the child, who is now 9 and a fourth-grader. “Alison forever will have those memories sketched in her head. She still can recall that night like it happened yesterday, unfortunately.”
Moore, a wife and mother of three children, today shares the emotional and disturbing story of her brother’s death to help others who might be in similar peril.
She has become a volunteer victim advocate, an impact public speaker who started a support group for male victims of domestic violence. She also oversees the Domestic Violence Impact Panel in Lakewood.
Last Friday, Moore was a guest speaker at an Auburn Domestic Violence Task Force rally at the City Hall Plaza, ushering in the community’s observance of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
She works closely with victims of violence and homicide. She was there for the distraught and torn families of the slain Lakewood police officers. Her passion and mission in life is to work on behalf of domestic violence victims, specifically men, and spread the word that professional help is out there.
Society often associates domestic violence with women, but emotionally scarred men are victims, too.
“Everything is geared to the man being the monster and the woman being the victim, and I get that,” Moore said. “Women are way more abused. I’m not denying that. But we have to acknowledge that men are victims also. A lot of them are losing their lives.
“It’s getting them to come out of the closet. … Women don’t like to come forward and report (domestic violence). Men don’t either,” Moore added. “These men are often ashamed beyond what you could even imagine. They are just ashamed that they have allowed a woman to do this to them.
“Society needs to realize that women can be abusive. They can be manipulative, jealous, and just trying to get that across to society has really been a struggle for me.”
Moore is trying to make a difference. She pushed to change a state law that protected relatives who had assisted in crimes. Two of Angela’s children from a previous marriage helped dispose of Randy’s body, hide evidence and lied to protect their mother. Under lenient laws at the time, they were charged with only a gross misdemeanor and avoided jail time.
But Moore worked four years to change the law. Gov. Chris Gregoire did so last year, signing “Randy’s Law,” which makes it a felony for adult relatives to render criminal assistance, punishable up to 10 years in prison.
Moore continues to spread her support for victims through her work. She also is developing a support website, randysplace.org, for victims. Her mission is to help others so they might never experience the horror and loss her family did.
“What’s most disturbing is the kids, the innocent victims who are left behind,” she said. “Alison lost both parents in an instant. … This is a burden Alison now bears, a burden no child should have to.”
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To learn more or to gain assistance, call the domestic violence hotline at 253-222-7434 or Shelly David, domestic violence legal advocate at 253-931-3072.
