Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service Jan. 15 to Jan. 20:

JAN. 15

Burglary: 10:20 a.m., 2600 block of Riverwalk Drive Southeast. Victims, their number and genders a police mystery, reported their residence burglarized of items not disclosed, resulting in some amount of loss, equally unknown.

DUI: 11:24 a.m., 901 Auburn Way N. After partaking of one too many fermented beverages, a man collided with a parked car in a parking lot then tried to flee without answering for his misdeed. Police found the liquored-up man driving, pulled him over and arrested him for DUI and hit-and-run.

Theft of property: 5 a.m., 100 block of 8th Street Southeast. A woman reported that somebody had stolen plants and plant stands from the porch of her residence. The theft is valued at $170.

Shoplifting: 4:05 p.m., 1000 block of Auburn Way South. Police arrested a man for shoplifting something at an undisclosed location.

Burglary: 4:22 p.m., 5700 block of South 300th Place. Police arrested a man, age not given, for burglarizing a home of something, equally undisclosed.

Car theft: 5:32 p.m., 31000 block of 124th Avenue Southeast. Somebody tried to steal a car parked at the Family of Grace Church, damaging the dashboard and wiring in the process. No value was given.

Theft: 8:45 p.m., 1700 block of G Street Southeast. After finding an empty UPS package inside her home, a woman deduced that somebody had pilfered its contents and run off with them.

JAN. 16

Theft: 9:30 p.m., 1101 Supermall Way S.W. The manager of Vitamin World at the Supermall reported a missing bank deposit.

Theft: 9:30 p.m., 1101 Supermall Way S.W. There was some sort of theft somewhere in the Supermall, but beyond those skeletal facts police didn’t care to comment.

Burglary: 5:30 p.m., 3500 block of Orchard Place Southeast. Police reported a house was burglarized, and that’s all.

Assault: 9:12 p.m., 300 block of S Street Southeast. Police arrested a man by citation for assault and malicious mischief after he assaulted his friend in some way for some reason and ripped the dude’s shirt in the process.

Assault: 10:06 p.m., 100 block of West Main Street. Police arrested a woman for assaulting a police officer under circumstances they didn’t care to explain.

Theft: Midnight, 1200 block of 29th Street Southeast. A man stole a woman’s bracelet and DVD’s and then later admitted that he pawned them in Auburn for cash.

JAN. 17

Drug paraphernalia: 12:45 a.m., 4000 block of A Street Southeast. Police arrested a non-age-specified male for possession of drug paraphernalia after he showed his marijuana pipe to a police officer during a traffic stop.

JAN. 18

Burglary: 10:30 p.m., 900 block of 15th Street Southwest. The owner of an undisclosed business reported that someone had broken into his or her business and stolen some loose change.

JAN. 19

Felony eluding: 12:15 a.m., 300 block of 30th Street Northeast. A driver, gender not given, tried to elude police after a traffic stop for expired license tabs. The driver fled in his or her vehicle for about 11 miles and was immobilized in Kent. Police arrested the driver for eluding and for several warrants out of Kent.

Theft from vehicle: 11 a.m., 1000 block of 12th Street Southeast. A maintenance worker for an apartment complex reported that an unknown person broke into his or her van and stole numerous power tools worth an undisclosed amount.

Assault: 8:07 p.m., 300 block of S Street Southeast. In the no-nonsense terminology of Auburn police, officers investigated an assault.

JAN. 20

Theft: 1:11 a.m., 1425 Supermall Way S.W. Two dudes, one white, the other black, stole a plasma television from Walmart. They left in a red van but were not located. Police did not disclose a value for the stolen television.

DUI: 1:16 a.m., Lake Tapps Parkway E/Sumner Tapps Highway East. Police found a woman slumped over behind the wheel of her car, engine running, keys in the ignition, near the intersection of Lake Tapps Parkway East and Sumner Tapps Highway East. She was parked in the center lane of a three-lane roadway facing the opposite direction of oncoming traffic that needed to use the lane to turn westbound on Lake Tapps Parkway East. Police arrested the woman for DUI, driving with a suspended license, driving without a required ignition interlock and for an outstanding $25,000 Auburn arrest warrant for DUI hit and run. Police also cited her for illegal use of a center Lane on a 3-lane roadway. The woman refused a blood-alcohol content test and police impounded her car.