In this particular case, the state’s maligned Department of Social and Health Services got it right.
Two desperate boys in need of a sound home, a chance to thrive in a stable and loving environment. An Auburn family willing to open its doors and collective heart.
After a long and difficult journey, the persistent Vaughns, together with state officials and supporting agencies, made it happen. But the life-changing ordeal came after considerable time, cost and emotional pain.
“It’s not safe, it’s scary, it’s risky, but it’s so amazing. The benefits outweigh the hardship of it,” said Laura Vaughn, 37, the mother of three boys, two of whom she and her husband, A.J., adopted after a 4½-year process with the state foster network. “It is not an easy thing to be a foster parent. It doesn’t matter who you are, you have to go through it. It’s really a complicated process.
“I understand their jobs are extremely difficult, and I know they (case workers) genuinely care about the children they are working with,” Laura added. “(Our case) could have been handled better … but it worked out about as well as it was supposed to.”
For their efforts, the foster care community will honor the Vaughns and other area foster families on Thursday at the Truitt Building in downtown Auburn. Olive Crest Homes and Services for Abused Children, which works in collaboration with the State of Washington on the Fostering Together program, is presenting the fundraising luncheon to mark National Foster Parent Appreciation Month.
Olive Crest, a private foster care placement and therapeutically-focused service agency, and its partner, Fostering Together, were instrumental in forging a happy ending for the Vaughn family.
“Laura inspires people. She and A.J. are very cool in doing what they did,” said Paula Head, of Olive Crest.
“It’s awesome,” A.J. said of the honor.
A.J. and Laura wanted to raise a large family. Benjamin was born six years ago, but what followed were a series of miscarriages for Laura.
The couple eventually contemplated the possibility of becoming adoptive parents after talking to friends at LifeWay Church in Auburn, a non-denominational congregation that A.J. serves as its pastor.
They were willing to step into the state’s foster-system labyrinth. They were willing to take the risk.
“It was a long journey for us,” said A.J., 39, “but it was one of the most rewarding things we’ve done in our lives.”
The Vaughns adopted two boys – brothers Jasper, 3, and Zephaniah, 5 – from their biological mother who was trying to beat drug and alcohol addiction while tending to her seven children.
Overcome by the challenges, the mother eventually relinquished parental rights to the boys on the condition that the Vaughns adopt them.
While there were tense moments in the exchange, the Vaughns and the mother began to build a working relationship, and they did it so well that she has become a part of the family – an unusual but not exclusive arrangement.
“It’s an open-door policy,” Laura said. “We trust her. It’s a really good relationship. There’s not a lot of boundaries. She is very respectful and supportive. We try to do the same for her and her baby.”
The single mother, 27, has kept one of her children, a 2-year-old girl, as she continues to turn around her once-turbulant life. She attends school and works with a treatment group.
Her plight is one of many in the state.
According to Head, there are more than 12,000 children currently in foster care in the state, numbers that in the past have proved difficult for government agencies to manage.
Olive Crest, for example, turns away about 300 potential placements every month because it doesn’t have enough licensed homes to accommodate eligible foster children.
Tragic stories of foster parent misbehavior — and the consequent disasters for the children under their care — make headlines. Yet the many stories of loving, healthy foster families rarely make the media radar, Head said.
The Vaughns represent a wonderful story with a great ending. Today, they’re enjoying the challenges of raising three sons.
“It has its moments, but it’s wonderful,” said Laura, who also co-owns and operates a graphic design company in Auburn – Rock, Paper, Scissors Creative Media.
“I love the noise, the ruckus, the energy of having three little boys in my house. They’re great kids.”
Added A.J.: “It’s incredible, it’s fun, it’s crazy and it’s loud. It’s different and amazing to see the changes in the older son.”
The easy-going Benjamin has adapted well to sharing his toys and the house.
“I said to him, ‘You have two younger brothers now,'” Laura said. “He said, ‘OK.’ And they went out to play.”
The whole experience has been rewarding for a family built on love.
Sunday’s celebration of Mothers Day will be different for the Vaughns.
“Families are what you make it,” A.J. said. “And this has strengthened my faith in anything we’ve done.”
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Power of One Luncheon
Olive Crest Homes and Services for Abused Children will host a celebratory luncheon May 14, honoring area foster families and featuring an inspirational talk by foster and adoption expert Doug Sauder, author of “The One Factor.”
The Power of One Luncheon will be held from 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at the Truitt Building, 102 W. Main St., Auburn. Tickets are $20 each, or $160 for a table of eight, and may be purchased by phoning Olive Crest at 425-462-1612, ext. 1312, or on-line at www.olivecrest.org.
