How does the old “Cheers” intro go?

Oh yeah: “Makin’ your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got …”

From everyone. People afflicted with ADD-addled brains (like me) have their own struggles.

In 2025, you know where it’s damned-near impossible to go straight from Point A to Point B? The internet. There, foul monsters, greedy for gain, conceal their real intentions, eager to trip up passersby by the ankles. Point her in the wrong direction, lead her down a blind alley. Send ‘em howling into the night.

I started thinking about this months back when a co-worker gave me an important news tip, and he told where I’d find the webpage. Took about 15 minutes, but just as my eyes were beholding it, an ad for doggie treats jumped up and began biting my ankles, forcing me to pause to clear the pest. Then an ad for skin moisturizer. Finally, I lost the page, and had to search it out again.

Ahhhggggggghh! Happens every day to people all over the world.

Seems it was easier once to get around. Just typed in an address. But time has moved on.

In the past, the commercials offered users buttons that said, “thanks, but no thanks,” or “decline.” All of them sensible, everyday terms. Lately, however, advertisers have gotten devious. Now, I get offers I can’t refuse, not a nod to Don Corleone, but because many of those people responsible for online content have started to fudge the decline options. In many cases, no more outright opt out, just a button asking if I’d “prefer to come back later.”

Increasingly the internet furnishes us with examples of the human race screwing up another wonderful invention, like members of a band who take the stage only to trash their music.

Can’t we do something about this? After we’ve said, “No, not interested” a certain number of times, shouldn’t the law require online advertisers to honor our choices and stop blasting the unwanted ads at us?

Recently, a disgusting trend — to me, anyway — caught my attention. I have seen the titles of historical documentaries on war, crime, replaced with pornographic phrases and images I definitely did not want to see.

Is no one willing to rein these guys in? I’m certain we could do something. But I have come to believe the ease and comfort of the public will always be the last consideration. Like bags that were once easy to open, but now will only yield its treasures to a knife or blowtorch.

As the egregious Mr. Bumble in Charles Dickens’ “Oliver Twist,” trying to exonerate himself from charges, threw his wife and partner to the wolves.

“That is no excuse,” returned Mr. Brownlow. “You were present on the occasion of the destruction of these trinkets, and, indeed, are the more guilty of the two, in the eye of the law; for the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction.”

“If the law supposes that,” said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, “the law is a ass — a idiot … ”

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Robert Whale can be reached at robert.whale@auburn-reporter.com.