As young as 3 and as old as 17, she was caught in the agony and despair of an ugly, dysfunctional home life. Her stepfather, and later a boyfriend, savagely, repeatedly, beat and abused her.
What began as a childhood nightmare became a horrific existence for a teenager clinging to hope, crying internally for help as she hid under a meek smile to mask the fears.
But that girl eventually overcame her horrific childhood and reached her dreams. She would become so much more than just another domestic violence statistic — she would find her way.
Today, the once homeless and neglected teenager who had little desire for self-survival is a proud professional. She is a Boeing executive, married, a charming and intelligent woman willing to share her sad story to help others.
The woman, whose name is being withheld to protect her identity, will tell her story publicly for the first time as a guest speaker at next Friday’s Auburn Youth Resources, Enumclaw Youth & Family Services 19th annual Valentine’s Breakfast at Grace Community Church.
“I’ve worked so hard in not letting it out,” she said of her past. “But now I bring a message … as the face of everybody who has helped me. I am here to thank you.”
Through the Auburn community – notably AYR, teachers, counselors and friends – the girl experienced a personal transformation, a turnaround after a long and traumatic journey.
As a youngster, she was paddled frequently, punished for little reason at all, and often allowed just a daily glass of milk to live on. Fortunately, her friends shared whatever food they occasionally could bring to her.
The terrified girl hid under her bed, small hand clutching the telephone as her violent, quick-tempered stepfather looked for her to beat with a two-by-four.
“I would call the police, but I was too scared to leave my name,” she recalled.
Little by little, she left signs.
She made a clay model coffin with her inside of it for a class assignment in high school. It alarmed the teacher.
Homeless, she slept in the park across from the high school. She would arrive early at school to clean up before the first bell, but a teacher eventually noticed the marks – hand prints on her neck.
The defining moment came the day her boyfriend held her face down on the floor and pointed a gun at her head.
“At the moment, I just didn’t care if I lived or died,” she said, fighting back tears. “I just wasn’t going to do it anymore. … Luckily, my strength, the compassion of the community and the tools I have been given, made me stronger than being the victim.”
With the help of AYR and others, the victim became a client. Teachers contacted counselors. The AYR and other support agencies stepped in, slowly helping the girl to regain her feet and reconstruct her shattered self.
Determined to break the cycle of violence in her family, she went back to school. She became the first of her family to graduate with a college degree. She plans to pursue a masters.
“Education was the key,” she said. “I remember the advice from a teacher: ‘The world will be at your feet, if you have the knowledge.’
“It took me awhile, but I made it.”
Jim Blanchard, AYR director, smiles at the mention of the woman’s achievements.
“Her story is a real triumph in a sense. She overcame incredible obstacles,” he said.
The woman is now a former client, forever grateful for those who helped rebuild her life.
“I don’t know what would have happened to me without that support … from the teachers, to AYR, to the family that took me in,” she said. “Everybody has to have some kind of protection and guidance.
“For the most part, I always had hope. I always knew there was hope some place,” she added. “I always smiled and tried to find something good in this. For some reason, I had that strength.”
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AYR, EYFS breakfast
• Event:
• Venue: Grace Community Church, 1320 Auburn Way S.
• Proceeds: Benefiting the work of the private, non-profit child and family support agencies.
• Program: Guest speakers, entertainment from Auburn Mountainview High School choir and raffle for several prizes. A $1 donation per ticket is welcomed. For those who would like to participate in the raffle but can’t attend the breakfast, call 253-351-6059. There is no limit to the number of raffle tickets purchased.
• Tickets, reservations: Call AYR at 253-351-6059 by Feb. 10.
• Information: www.ayr4kids.org
